When Buterflies Come
by Ore-sama The Master
Summary: Takes place after Persona 3 but before FES. Yukari begins suffering from depression after the loss suffered in their last battle.Bullying at Cram School, constant isolation from her friends and increasingly bad habits do little to help her.
1. Fear

_"It's what you do, unthinking, that makes the quick tear start; The tear may be forgotten -- but the hurt stays in the heart."_-- Ella Higginson

"C'mon, it'll be fun"

"Sorry, not tonight guys"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just want to be alone tonight"

With that, Yukari marched up to her dorm room, alone.

Alone. There was a word Yukari was becoming all too familiar with. Then again, as far as she could see it, that was a word she was familiar with from the start. No, it was more then a simple word, it was _her_.

These thoughts weren't apparent to Yukari, who was convinced she just wasn't in the mood. She hadn't been for the past month. Everyone was moving ahead though, and so was she. There was Cram School starting tomorrow night, she didn't need to be out hanging out with the others and tiring herself out.

"They need to get serious" muttered Yukari. She went right to bed.

Early to bed, early to rise. When Yukari got up, the dorm was near empty, which was usual. Everyone but Mitsuru slept longer then she did. She got dressed, went down and made herself breakfast. Mitsuru was in the living room reading. "Good morning Takeba" she said offhandly.

"Good morning" said Yukari. It was a pretty large breakfast for her. As she ate it, Junpei came down with a big yawn, fully dressed himself. Yukari didn't pay much attention to him, until from the corner of her eye she saw him looking at her.

"What are you looking at?" asked Yukari.

"Is there a guest here or something?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? Look at that, you have enough food there for two of you!" said Junpei.

"I'm hungry, all right? " muttered Yukari wolfing down her food, wantng to get out and away from Junpei as soon as possible. Junpe go his own breakfast ready and took it to his room. However Junpei's coment still stung. She wasn't eating _that _much. After eating she left the dorm without another word.

When she went out, it was usually either to Paluwonia mall or Iwatodai station, in a rare instance she would go to the movies. If you asked Yukari what she did, she would say "stuff" and it was the truth. She had no purpose in going out other then to pass time. The gorgeous weather helped brighten her spirits.

She enjoyed herself, although there appeared to be a certain emptyness to it all. In the end, her thoughts about Minato, that blue haired eye sore, who's smile lingered on her mind sometimes. She felt a stab of pain every time, so she just pushed it out of her mind.

"I have to move forward" said Yukari.

As soon as Yukari came home, she showered up. When she came downstairs, the gang was all there, which was par for the course of the evening. "Don't tell me you're acually going to that Cram School" said Junpei.

"Yes I am, so what?" asked Yukari.

"Why? Your grades are real good, aren't they?" asked Ken.

"Yeah, but I'm going to be a Senior and I need to improve. See ya later" said Yukari. She was quick to leave.

She forced her focus onto one thing, the session ahead of her. She quickened he pace, catching the nearest train to the school. She bretahed a sigh of relief, taking her seat. She didn't even look around to see if her fellow Cram schoolers were there, she looked down at her feet, a depression she couln't pinpoint still sulking in her stomach. "Stop it Yukari, just forget it" she told herself.

"Hey, you're Yukari Takeba right?"

Yukari looked up to see a group of three girls there. They all dressed in matching blue skirts, the one in the middle with long red hair of a height of close to six foot, the other averaged sized

Yukari turned away pretendng to ignore them. She didn't need conflic right now. "I asked you a question bitch" she said shoving Yukari back in her seat.

"What's your problem!" snapped Yukari, her patience having already been thin since heading on board the train. The big girl grabed her by the shirt, Yukari pushing back, then was met with a viscous slap. She fell to the floor of the train face first, hearing the sound of the girls spitting on her. She crawled away, getting to her feet and finding a new seat next to another girl.

"Who are those three?" asked Yukari regaining her senses. She recognized her as Yuko from the Track Team, it's manager. They weren't really friends but she met her when she went to see Minato's track run.

"I heard about them. They were transfered here from another district for beating up a girl at their other school. I hear they like to target the popular girls. You should forget about Cram school" said Yuko.

"Why are they even here?" asked Yukari.

"Parents probably forced them" said Yuko.

Yukari could not focus on her work at all. She kept eyeing the girls, the bullies. All she could think about was how much she wanted to go back to the dorm. The pressure made her want to cry in the room. Ratting on them would guarentee her another beating. The call for dismissal was a blessing and a cry of danger. She ran out with all the speed she could muster, constantly looking over her shoulder. She rushed onto the train and took the furthest seat in the back. The Three girls were last on the train. They spent the whole trip leering at Yukari threateingly. She looked over expecting Minato to put a stop to this. There was no one there however, and she mentally hit herself for thinking he was.

"How was Cram School Takeba?"

"Fine"

"Hey Yuka-tan, there's some left overs from dinner if you want some"

"No thanks Junpei"

"Hey Takeba, is something wrong? You look like you lost a fight"

"I'm fine Akihiko senpai. I'm going to bed, I'm tired"

"What? It's only nine, are you kidding me?"

"Good night"

Yukari had trouble finding sleep that night, with the threat of the girls looming over her head. Yet despite the threat, for whatever reason, she could not bring herself to stop Cram School. Maybe the next night wil be better, she figured.

TBC...


	2. Black Eye

_"Our friends should be companions who inspire us, who help us rise to our best."  
_-- Joseph B. Wirthlin

It was with a certain uneasyness that Yukari decided to go to Cram School again that night. Sitting on the train, it wasn't long before she saw those three girls again. Yukari quickly moved to the side, the three of them walking over to her. The three looked at each other and then simutaneously spit in her face. Yukari instinctively wiped the spit away.

"Bitch" spat the big one, shoving Yukari back roughly.

Yukari found it a bit easier to study, however it was not the sanctuary she had thought it would be. It felt empty, plastic, and she felt worse then ever. That pain in the pit of her stomach stayed with her like a parasite feeding off her agony. As she continued reading and studying, not looking at the clock despite having no sense of how much time had passed, she began regretting coming back. Once release was called for, the relief was even better then the night before.

She was totally off guard that night, which didn't cross her mind until she felt a strong hand grab her shoulder and spun her around. It was a flash, too quick to feel any sense of danger or fear. She fell on her back, her hand immediately covering her right eye. She made no movement to get up, just laying there and hoping they would go away.

"You okay? I told you not to come back" said Yuko a moment later pulling Yukari up to her feet. Yukari kept her hand over that eye for the entire trip down. She was thinking about rushing to her room,not giving them even a second to see her in pain. She didn't want their help. "There's only one person who could ever help me, and he's gone" thought Yukari.

By the time she got to the door, the pain subsided enough for her to take her hand off her eye. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside. Yep, there they were, the others. She turned away, walking past them huriedly.

"Takeba, how was Cram School?" asked Mitsuru. Yukari was frozen by Mitsuru's words.

"Fine" she said quickly.

"I'm going to be, night" added Yukari quickly and rushed up the stairs. She went into the bathroom and looked at the mirror. Her eye was swollen badly, black and blue. Yukari quickly ran into her room, applying as much make up as she could to cover it. The fact her eye was swollen wouldn't be as obvious this way. She stayed up until two in the morning applying make up. She didn't wake up until ten, well after everyone else. Yukari quickly got dressed, then looked in her hand mirror on the drawer. It was obvious when you took a good look at it, but passing by, no one was likely to notice.

She hurried down stairs and fixed herself a big breakfast, then took it up to her room. Her room was where she spent the day, as much as she longed for the outdoors, she didn't want to risk exposing her injury. That brought the other looming, nagging thought.

Cram School.

"I can't just stop going. The others wil get suspicous" said Yukari to herself.

Ask them for help?

"I can't, I just can't. I can't confide in anyone except him, but I can't confide in him now. They're my friends, but, they don't know me, they don't understand me, even if they pretend to. He was the only one who got through. There's no one else left who can help" said Yukari.

"Hey Yuka-tan, off to Cram School?"

"Yeah, where else?"

"Geeze, what's with the hostility?"

"Are you sure you're okay Takeba? You haven't been out of your room all day"

"I'm fine Misturu-senpai"

"Hey, is there something wrong with your eye Takea?"

"Akihiko, everyone, I'm fine! Stop getting on my case!"

Yukari stormed out of the dorm. She stopped well outside the train. She shook her head, taking a step forward, then stopping. She thought about those girls, and decided better of it. "No, I can't go" said Yukari. She walked away from the train. Instead she went all the way down to Paluwonia mall.

She had never been there during the evening, at least not by herself. The atmosphere was far different, it felt, dangerous. Was she being paranoid? Probably, she figured. When she had come here with Minato, nothing had happened. She stepped inside, and had no idea what she was going to do. She sat down on the bench, and fell asleep.

"Hey, wake up"

Yukari felt a shck pulse through her body at the suddeness, Officer Kurosawa waking her up. "C'mon, I have to lock up, you should leave" he said. Yukari nodded. How long had she been asleep for?

She walked out into the cold of night, Yukari welcoming the cold air to wake her up. The cold air alone didn't fully wake her up, however a hand clamping over her mouth from behind did. Another arm wrapped around her wait, Yukari elbowing the person holding he a few times until he let go, Yukari turning around to face her large attacker, someone else grabbing her from behind, his arms locking around her waist to pin her arms, then took her to the ground. One of the arms let go and clamped over her mouth.

"Hurry up, get something to tie her up with" said the man holding her. Yukari wasn't about to quit without a fight, biting down on that hand with all her might. The man cried out, yanking her hand back, Yukari slamming her heel into his shin until he let go, Yukari getting up but the man quickly grabbed her legs, Yukari falling to the ground painfully. She lost all sense of movement for a few seconds, being turned over. She heard a punch, then the sound of someone crying out, falling over. Yukari got one of her legs free and kicked the guy holding her in the face, getting to her feet.

"Akihiko Senpai"

"Stand back Takeba, I could use some late night practice" said Akihiko. The two attackers got to their feet.

"Let's see how tough you two are when you aren't grabbing someone from behind" said Akihiko. He made quick work of both of them, then turned to Yukari. "What are you doing here Takeba? We've ben looking all over" said Akihiko. Yukari had to think quick.

"I was just, hanging out by myself" lied Yukari convincingly.

"You sure picked a night to do it. C'mon, let's go back, everyone's worried"

TBC


	3. Alone

_"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination."-Mark Twain_

As agreed, Akihiko did not speak a word about the attack to any of the other members. She declined to talk much with Akihiko on the way back. She was thankful he came to help, but she didn't feel safe confiding in him. Eye contact between them was sparse, and the silence was more then unerving for both of them.

"I feel like I'm walking with Shinji" remarked Akihiko. Yukari felt like Akihiko was going on a verbal offenssive against her, walking further ahead of him.

"Takeba, do you trust us at all?"

If his previous comment seemed like an offenssive maneuver, this comment was, to her, an assault. She tried walking faster but Akihiko kept up easily, and in the back of her mind Yukari felt she was giving him more lee way to break his promise of silence.

"Why are you asking me that?" asked Yukari defensively.

"You don't seem like yourself at all" said Akihiko. Yukari saw her salvation ahead, the dorm. She ran at a break neck pace, Akihiko letting out a frustrated sigh. He just walked casually back, Yukari charging past the dorm living room and up the stairs into her room, closing the door and locking it. Once she did this, she slid down to a sitting position, feeling the simple sensastions of panting and sweating with such emphasis.

"I'll be fine, I'll be fine" she thought. Some rest would do her good, she figured.

Waking up, the very first instant Yukari began to think about what the others may say to her. How much would they ask? Would they keep asking? She was about to get dressed but saw she had slept in her clothes. Surprisingly, it didn't show. Yukari just shrugged and stepped outside. It was later in the morning, again. She rushed downstairs, no one else was down there. She smiled, the relief making her light headed for a short moment.

She made another large breakfast, and this time, was able to take her time with it. In fact, she even watched television while eating it. However as time passed, no one was coming down, coming in, nothing. At first, this was becoming frightening. However, as she just sat and watched the television in front of her, she began to grow strangely accustomed to the empty surroundings.

"No one else, no one else. Hey, I kind of like this. Yeah, it's fine" thought Yukari.

Someone was walking downstairs. Yukari's fingernails dug into the couch, her heart beating at unmeasurable rates. She got up and rushed to the stairs. It was Aigis, who stopped her advancement down the stairs, the two of them staring with bewilderment and fear. They simutaneously breathed a sigh of relief when their bodies caught up with their minds.

"Aigis, please don't do that anymore" sighed Yukari.

"I, apoligize. Tell me, why are you here alone?" asked Aigis.

"I don't know, the dorm was empty when I woke up. Well, almost empty" explained Yukari.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" apoligized Aigis.

"It's no big deal Aigis" said Yukari.

It was a big deal. Seeing Aigis again, brought it all back again full force. That sinking feeling in her stomach. Without even giving it a thought, she walked out of the dorm. She just walked, no aim, in a direction that she did not pay attention to. She walked across the street without even looking for oncoming traffic. She was quite lucky.

This time she went to Portland Station, weary of Paluwonia Mall for the time being. She knew she would never go back during night time again.

The movie theater. "Yeah, why not. Nice way to kill a couple hours" she thought.

She was fortunate enough to be carrying money on her. She picked what looked to be a nice film. She got a small bag of popcorn but a large soda. "Better grab a little candy too" she said to herself.

She went into the theater maintaining as positive attitude as she could muster, feeling only the slightest sent of depression within her. She began quickly eating away at the popcorn before the film started. The coonection betwwen her psyche and the onscnreen action was never made. The previews started, and Yukari began feeling tired.

"Stop" she muttered under her breath, feeling a pair of hands touching her sides. She felt them moving up and trying to grope her, before she woke up in the theater. This was how she spent the rest of the film, trying to pay attention but every now and then falling asleep to odd, very quick dreams. She saw dead and bloodied bodies strung throughout the theater, and other assortments of lucid visuals. The worst was when she saw him sitting next to her, holding her hand. When she woke up that time, she was wide awake.

Every time she woke up, she also felt that pain in her stomach, and no strength nor will to fight against it. When she woke up that last time, it hit full force, pulling her like a magnet to the dorm. She didn't wait for the film to end, abruptly leaving the theater.

She shook her head a little hard, making a small crank in her neck. She slowly worked the crank out. "I should've stayed at the dorm where it's nice and quiet" thought Yukari. When she got to the door however, she saw Fuuka at the door.

"No, no! Not now!" she thought.

Fuuka noticed her standing there. "Oh hello Yukari" she said.

"Hello" replied Yukari with as much enthusiasm as she could put into it. Yukari slowly marched ahead. to the doors of the dorm.

"So, how has Cram School been?"

"Fine"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I never saw you as the type to be so worried over grades. You're pretty good at school"

"Like I told Ken, I have to start taking things seriously"

They stepped inside.

"Just have to move ahead" thought Yukari "Everything will be fine"

TBC


	4. Drink

_"If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim."_-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Paluwonia Mall was out of the question. Actually going to Cram School was out of the question. Iwatodai Station? Yukari decided she could give it a try. If she officialy dropped out of Cram School, she would have to put up with the others asking why and she didn't want that. She decided to bring her Evoker with her. Although simply touching it brought back painful memories for her, she simply tucked it away.

"I can't summon my Persona, but I can scare off attackers" thought Yukari.

It was a chilly night, and Yukari without so much as a coat. She mentally berated herself for not bringing a coat. There were plenty of people out that night around Iwatodai, it was known to be an active sector even during the latest hours. She felt it coming again, that pit in her stomach opening up. The bright lights luminating from the station did little to quell it.

"I just need something to do" Yukari tried to convince herself.

She looked at some of the people walking around, addicts, muggers, and her trembling hand reached down towards her evoker. However upon closer look, they weren't paying any kind of attention to her. In fact, they didn't even notice her. Yukari stopped her motion towards the evoker, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down.

"Boo!"

Yukari shrank back to the point she almost knocked over the girl behind her. The girl threw her head back and laughed, Yukari fuming at her. She had long white hair, wearing clothes that would quickly paint anyone as "street punk", a multi colored short sleeve shirt under a jean vest, wearing under it jean shorts and black sandles.

"What was that for!" yelled Yukari.

"Sorry, I do that to all the newbies here, and you were so obviously new. My name's Maiko, c'mon, I need some company" she said grabbing Yukari's hand and yanking her away. Yukari was pulled quickly into an alley, yanking her wrist away roughly.

"What do you think you're doing!" yelled Yukari.

"Oh c'mon, be a sport" teased Maiko taking out a small pocket knife. Yukari pressed her back against the wall, ready to dodge her knife thrusts, too afraid to simply break away and run. However Maiko used it on her own arm, making a small cut. Maiko laughed at Yukari's bewildered expression.

"Your turn"

"Excuse me?"

"It's a game silly. Whoever stops cutting themselves first loses"

"Get the hell away from me you freak! Find someone else to play your messed up games with!" snapped Yukari.

Yukari was heading in the other direction, Maiko running in front of her. "Don't leave, please, I just want someone to hang out with for the night!" said Maiko. Yukari looked into her pleading face, and could not help but be swayed by it, somewhat.

"What am I doing? This girl is nuts, she'll probably come after me with that knife!" thought Yukari. Maiko grabbed Yukari by the wrist and tugged her along like a dog. Yukari had never felt such a strong temptation to pull away. However now she wasn't even thinking about her problems. Yukari yanked her wrist away again.

"I said no! Please, just leave me alone" said Yukari.

"Please wait, I promise, you'll like me! Please wait, please!" begged Maiko. Yukari couldn't believe how pathetic and desperate she looked. Yukari began thinking about her options:this girl or Cram School. Crazy as Maiko was, she wasn't bullying Yukari.

"Fine, but try to keep things normal" stressed Yukari. Maiko gave Yukari a tight hug. "You won't regret this! Come here!" said Maiko running off. Yukari followed her, wondering where she was running to. She followed Maiko to a corner where Maiko picked up two, small bottles.

"I hope you like this brand" said Maiko handing Yukari one, but she didn't take it.

"Wait, how old are you?"

"Sixteen"

"Maiko, we can't drink this! You know how much trouble we'll get in if we're caught?"

Maiko offered the drink to her again. "Aw c'mon, it's a small one, it won't hurt" said Maiko. Yukari slides down into a sitting position, her back against the wall. She felt just as bad as being there then at the Cram School.

"It's not even Maiko as much as, look what I'm doing! I'm going to places like THIS? This wouldn't be happening if he were still around!" thought Yukari. Maiko still held the bottle out in front of Yukari, Yukari snatching the bottle angrily from her hands. She just held it in her hands, but the more she looked at it, the less repugnant the idea of drinking from it became. The pit inside her was an almost numbing pain, and sitting there in front of this deranged girl, Yukari found her thoughts spiraling into a black hole. It was so dizzying for her, she actually, without even thinking about it, opened the bottle and took a big sip. She was thirsty anyway/

What happened after that was an absolute blank for her. She was almost convinced she had simply passed out. The next thing she remembered was waking up in her room. As familiar as the surrounding was, her feeling was not. Her head was throbbing, even the light foot steps of outside sounded like bombs going off. At first she didn't even remember what she had done the night before.

"Morning" said Maiko eagerly, Yukari moaning from the noise. She sat up.

"What are you doing here, what's going on?" asked Yukari.

"It was kind of weired, after you drank, you started crying, talking about hating your friends and some guy named Minato, he must've been your lover from the way you talked about him. Then you started getting real crazy and violent, so I called an ambulance, they brought you to a hospital, then this red haired woman brought you here, I followed and snuck up here" said Maiko.

"Mit, suru? How did she react?" asked/moaned Yukari, rubbing her temples.

"I don't know, ask her" said Maiko. Foot steps were heard outside, Maiko hiding herself in Yukari's closet. Mitsuru knocked on the door, then without asking permission, just walked in.

Yukari moaned loudly, Mitsuru sitting down next to her.

"You mind telling me about what you've been doing?" asked Mitsuru.

"Nothing" moaned Yukari.

"Don't lie to me Takeba! Where did you get that alchohol?"

"I didn't drink any"

"Stop lieing to me!"

"Stop yelling, and I didn't lie"

"If this happens again Takeba, I will drive you to Cram School myself"

"Leave me alone! What I do is none of your business! SEES is gone, you can't order me around!" shot Yukari.

Yukari held her head, a moment of uneasy silence passing between them.

"Tell me what's wrong Takeba" pleaded Mitsuru. Yukari didn't say anything, looking away from Mitsuru. Mitsuru shook her head, closing the door and leaving. When it was safe, Maiko opened the closet door, peaking her head out and joining Yukari on the side of the bed. She held Yukari's head to her chest like a mother, a daunted and disoriented Yukari just accepting it with a blank look on her face.

TBC


	5. Money Trouble

"_If you share your friend's crime, you make it your own"-Latin Proverb_

Over the span of a couple of hours, Yukari regained herself. However she was still worn and weary, so sh kept herself in bed all day, with Maiko keeping her company. He doors were kept locked, and she ignored anyone knockinbg on her door. Yukari didn't get up until very late the next morning.

In fact it was close to noon. She decided to just skip breakfast. "Where are you going?" asked Maiko.

"Out" said Yukari.

"Okay, I'll sneak out and meet you outside"

As Yukari made her way out of the house, her thoughts came back to Maiko. She now viewed Maiko without all the hesitation, instead, she was somewhat liking Maiko. She could only remember blurred images but she could recollect that Maiko was there for her the whole time.

"No, not quite trust, not even quite friendship, but, well I guess it won't hurt to stick around with her" thought Yukari. She was quick to get out, avoiding eye contact and any speaking with anyone.

Maiko was waiting a few paces outside the dorm. "No drinking, understand? I don't want to get into anymore trouble" warned Yukari. Maiko didn't give a response, instead motioning for Yukari to follow her. Yukari sighed, anything was better then being at the dorm at the moment.

"Where are we going?" Yukari kept asking.

"I'll show ya, it's going to be fun" said Maiko.

Yukari had a nervous feeling in the pit of her gut about this, yet she went along with it. Maiko kept talking the whole way, about how much fun they were going to have, and how Yukari was the best friend she ever had. "Why does she keep saying that?" thought Yukari, feeling Maiko's proverbial hands reaching inside of her and ripping her apart. She just couldn't understand what was making her so emotional now.

Maiko stopped her talking and her walking in front of a small house. There were in front of a drive way full of pebbles and rocks, unpaved for some time. Yukari kept silent as Maiko observed the house herself. Then Maiko bent down and picked up a larger rock, walking up to the door of the house. "What are you doing?" asked Yukari. Maiko walked into the house, Yukari waiting a moment in agonizing anticipation. She finally took the initiative to walk inside after her, fearing she had done the worst. She didn't get far, as Maiko came running past her, yelling at Yukari to move. Sensing trouble was coming, Yukari moved as quickly as she could after Maiko.

"What the hell were you doing!" yelled Yukari when they got a chance to catch her breath.

Maiko showed Yukari a wallet, opening it up and showing all the money inside. She then burst into a fit of giggling so strong, it looked like she might pass out. Yukari skimmed through the money, estimating a minimum of 45,000 yen, if not more.

"We have to bring this back. Don't you get it, we could get in HUGE trouble for this. You want to go to jail?" asked Yukari angrily.

Maiko put her hands on Yukari's shoulders as a sign of comfort. "We won't get caught, I promise" said Maiko. "Now let's go get ourselves a treat"

Maiko was right. They weren't caught. Yukari couldn't understand how, they must've been seen running away from the scene. However no police showed up at any point to even question them, a fear which lurked in Yukari's stomach throughout the day. They went crazy that day, spending half of the money on crazily expensive foods in one of the finest resturants in the region.

It was becoming evening time, time for Yukari's Cram School. "Forget about them Yukari, what they don't know won't hurt them" assured Maiko. Yukari just took her word for it. She was right about the police after all, or at least so far.

They went back to the slums near Iwatodai that night, not far from where Yukari had first met Maiko. Maiko had Yukari wait while she went to get something.

"The police are going to be asking around eventually. Wait, what if they already went to the dorm? No, don't think like that Yukari! C'mon, urgh, what am I doing? Why did I let that happen? I should've turned Maiko in, now I'll be in for it for sure if I get caught. Even if Mitsuru bails me out, she might force me to go back to Cram School!" thought Yukari. She took a few paces into the alley, backing up against the wall and sitting down.

"I can't go back there! Those girls will throttle me again, they might even kill me! I can't go back, i won't go back, never! I can't get caught, I'll do whatever it takes to avoid that" thought Yukari.

Maiko came back with two needles. "Maiko, what are those?" asked Yukari.

"Don't worry, they're clean. I've heard this stuff is supposed to be wild" said Maiko sitting down. Now Yukari knew what it was.

"No way Maiko! I'm not taking Heroin! What's wrong with you, have you seen the kind of people around on that stuff?" asked Yukari.

Maiko just giggled hysteircaly again.

"Is everything a joke to you!" yelled Yukari. Maiko was listening, instead injecting the needle into her arm, and almost immediately it took effect. Yukari yelled at her for another moment but it became clear she was out of it, in it's grasp. Yukari sat there, holding her legs tightly against her body, expecting to see Maiko go out of control, and feeling so helpless. Instead, she looked like someone who had Apathy Syndrome.

She still felt helpless though. "I can't help her. I couldn't help him either, and he died. I'm so worthless" thought Yukari.

Watching Maiko like this made Yukari sick to watch. She kept looking around her, the reality of where she had taken itself becoming not only apparent to her, but constantly assaulting her with guilt and bewilderment. She sat there for two hours out of her mind, thinking about leaving but her body refused to even make such a motion. Then Yukari's fears mounted when she saw two husky boys walk by, stopping to loom over Maiko. Yukari immidiately slid back, one of the two bending down and taking the wallet out of Maiko's pocket. They looked through, impressed with what they saw, then looked down towards Yukari.

"You don't mind if we take it, do ya?" one asked threateningly. Yukari shook her head, in fact it would benefit them not to have the money anymore. He kicked Yukari in the stomach anyway. Her breath vanished, holding her stomach and falling over. She layed for about five minutes holding her stomach. The pain subsided over time, until Maiko was fast asleep. Yukari shoke her awake, and after a good time's effort, Maiko finally awakened.

"That was, wicked" she said, still a little out of it. Yukari slapped her and did whatever she could to wake Maiko up. Maiko wasn't quite recovered, but she was enough to be able to follow Yukari home. Yukari watched and helped her climb up towards Yukari's room. When she had made it in, yukari came in. No one was downstairs. Yukari snuck up into her room, where Maiko was passed out.

TBC


	6. Pills

"_Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."_

The next few nights followed in a similar pattern. Maiko would steal money, drop another drug, then Yukari would take her back to her room. Not seeing anymore then a second long blur at any of her dorm mates. They would eat enough food at once for three meals. Yukari kept swearing to herself she was going to lay down the law, she was going to stop this, but she never did.

"I'm such a coward" she would tell herself. Yukari never took any of the drugs herself, but she might as well have, and was almost tempted to. Being with Maiko was her own personal hell. Constant worry about getting caught, watching Maiko drugged out of her mind for two hours, then sneaking her home, and trying to make sure no one else in the dorm found out about it. She found it hard to sleep. After these few days, black marks were forming under her eyes, and there was a constant feeling of light headness.

"You don't look so good" remarked Maiko as they began their daily excrusion.

Yukari just kept silent. That's all she did for the next few days following. She didn't speak a single word, have a single conversastion. She was in auto pilot for close to the remainder of the week. Days passed without her noticing them. Her will became a wandering spirit. Everything was just some routine as menial as sitting up in the morning, done with a numb mind.

One day, that very Saturday, Yukari didn't get up. She tried but her head seemed to weigh as much as a truck. The marks under her eyes were so dark they would stick out in a dark closet. Maiko tried to pull her up but Yukari just moaned loudly and fell back in her bed.

"Get up Yukari, please!" begged Maiko shaking her. Yukari no longer had the automated desire nor the strength to oblige Maiko's request. Yukari just passed out then and there.

It wasn't until that Monday that Yukari woke up again. She flet rejuvinated, sitting right up. The marks under her eyes were gone, the light headedness faded away. There was now only an impatient hunger in the depths of her stomach. She went downstairs holding her stomach, quickly fixing herself a hefty breakfast. She wolfed it down with intimidating speed.

"Hey Yuka-tan, haven't seen much of you lately. How's it been?" asked Junpei walking downstairs.

"Fine" said Yukari no chalantly. It was now that she thought about where Maiko was. She hadn't seen her in her room. The worst immidiately came to mind. However, as sick as it sounded to even her, she was relieved. The hell was over, no more crimes, no more dragging her home, no more hiding her. However, her stomach was struck with what she was to do with the evenings now.

"Man I'm bored. Everyone else is out doing something. You wanna take Koromaru for a walk with me?" asked Junpei.

"No thanks" said Yukari.

"C'mon, you never want to do anything anymore. Did I do something to get you mad at me? If it's because I ate your sushi that night, I'm sorry" said Junpei.

"No, it's nothing to do with you" Yukari responded. Talking with Junpei made her feel more isolated. Now she craved Maiko again, leaving the dorm and going all over town looking for Maiko. Hours passed like the wind, every square inch from Port Island to Paluwonia mall.

Finally, she came to Iwatodai Station, where she had met Maiko for the first time a near week ago. She wasted no time going into the area where she had found Maiko drugged out most of the time, her only home outside Yukari's home. What Yukari found was both expected, and a shock.

Maiko was laying on the ground, her zoned out eyes staring lifelessly into the sky, an empty medication bottle next to her. No initial response, physical or emotional, really came. Yukari just sat down and watched her, waiting for her to come out of it, even if the answer was obvious to her predicament. In fact, after about fifteen minutes in, she knew for certain Maiko was dead, but still sat there.

"Do you know her?"

Yukari didn't look up, didn't make any sign at all she had heard him, but she recognized the voice as Akihiko's. "I heard about her. Her mother did a lot of drugs when she was pregnant with her, so she was born mentaly disabled. Kurosawa told me about her, her father is influential among the police department, and they ignore her crimes for the most part. Best I could describe her as is unstable, figures she got into drugs" said Akihiko. Yukari didn't move.

"I'm surprised you two even met Takeba, let alone got along. Still, don't get depressed about it, it was inevitable. She was in a losing fight from the start, it was only a matter of time before she got knocked out of the ring" said Akihiko.

Yukari saw something sticking out of Maiko's pocket. She took it out, her switchblade. In doing so, she accidentaly touched her cold skin, reminding her of the cold, lifeless feelings of Minato's hand. Everything just hit her at once, and she wasn't strong enough to take it. Gripping the blade tightly, she began to sob uncontrolably.

Laying in bed that night, Yukari began to think harder then she had in a good while.

"Maybe I should just go back to Cram School. Maybe all I need is some focus. I can't let those girls bully me out of it, maybe I could get Akihiko or Junpei to come down and watch me"

The dorm was eeriely silent.

"I can't do that. I can't ask any of them to do that. I mean, they're my friends, but, they're not. Why am I even thinking about this? Cram School is out of the question, I can't go back no matter what! No one else can help me, I have to help myself! I'll find something else, something else will help me! This pain can't last forever, I'll beat it somehow! I still have a promise to keep to him, I still need to move forward. I can do this, I can do this, alone"

TBC


	7. Breakdown

"_You do anything long enough the escape the habit of living until escape becomes_ _the habit_"-David Ryan

Waking up that morning, Yukari had never felt worse in her entire life. She didn't even leave immidiately, but sat there, feeling isolation. Sure, she had known and experienced isolation before, it was her life, but now she was _feeling _it. The rest of the world was an illusion, she was the only real person, everyone else were just imaginary demons. She had never conveyed such thoughts even into mental language, but that feeling was currently running through her.

Minato was the only other real person, and to an extent, Maiko. Both were gone. Gone. Gone. The word would not stop repeating.

Yukari heard a knock at the door.

"Yukari-chan, it's me, Fuuka, may I come in?"

"All right"

Yukari didn't want to talk to Fuuka, or anyone but him, however Fuuka would certainly suspect something if Yukari said no. Fuuka steped inside, Yukai geting dressed. Fuuka looked a little embaressed walking in while Yukari was doing that. Yukari dressed quickly.

"Sorry about that Yukari. Anyway, Junpei's sleeping medication's missing, know where it is?" asked Fuuka.

"Sleeping medication?" asked Yukari.

"Yeah, didn't you know? Junpei stopped taking it when he came here because the Dark Hour helped him sleep. He has a sleeping disorder, and with the Dark Hour gone, he needs them again. He just got a new bottle but he can't find it now"

"I'll help find them" said Yukari. Fuuka walked out, Yukari putting her socks and boots on. Yukari looked all over the house, glad to have something to keep herself focused. Predictably however, other ideas came to her.

Yukari found them under the couch, but stuffed them in her pocket. She went up to her room, locking the door before daring to take them out. She gripped them like it was her last breath, thinking about why she took them. She knew, however.

"I only need a few. I know it's desperate, but, I need help" she thought.

She took those four, and within a half hour of sitting there with that numbing pit in her stomach, they took full effect. Yukari didn't wake up until close to midnight, then took a few more.

Sleep had become her addiction, and the pills her only way there. She spent the day sleping, every time she woke up was like getting stabbed in the chest, and she imidiately reached for the pills, waiting being the ultimate torture. During that sleping period, she had a dream where she was dating Minato. She woke up around eight in the evening, the wonderous dream that had relieved her, dead and buried. Reality all came crashing back. The first thing she turned towards were the pills.

She sat and thought, long and hard, about where she was and what she was doing. She grabbed the pills, she didn't want to take them, yet she did.

"I WANT MY LIFE BACK!" she shrieked. She began trashing her room, slamming into the walls, losing all sense of self control. She stagered out of the room, tiring herself out.

Junpei and Akihiko rushed up. "Hey, Takeba, what's-

"My pills!" gasped Junpei, Yukari still having them in her hands.

Yukari crawled towards them, not finding the strength nor the will to stand up.

"Help me" begged Yukari weakly "Please, make it stop"

Yukari woke up, once again. This time the fear of being in a new surounding overcame her depression. She recognized this place, but it still wasn't coming clear to her how. She took a moment to observe her surroundings, then she knew. She was at the hospital.

"What, am I doing here?"

She couldn't remember anything of the night previous yet. A doctor came walking in.

"Ah, you're awake"

"What's going on"

"Your friends brought you here last night. They said you were having a breakdown. We did some work and their worry about the bottle of pills they foun in your room was valid"

"Wait, what did they say about me? Do they hate me?"

"I couldn't tell you. I told them to go when I saw them myself. You'd hae to ask the medics who brought you in"

Yukari then looked down, seeing that that were straps over her, her wrists and ankles strapped down individually as well.

"Why am I straped down like that?" asked Yukari.

"Standard procedure. You're in the psychiatric ward"

TBC


	8. Insanity

Yukari feared the worst, but they kept telling her a psychiatric ward in a hospital isn't the same as being in a mental institution. She would likely be released within the week as long as her behavior was good,. However, there was the chance she could be sent to an actual institution if they believed she couldn't recover quickly. It was in the hospital where Yukari had time to think over everything, rationally. Or at least she tried to. However, her surroundings were a living nightmare. She just felt so uncomfortable in a place like this. Being restrained didn't help her either. What if some crazy with a knife came in after her? She couldn't do anything to stop them. She wasn't able to sleep the first night because of this fear and paranoia, so she was put to sleep by the nurse.

"Could you please get rid of the restraints? At least my arms?"

Yukari was granted the release of her arms, for breakfast. After that, they strapped them back down. Yukari yelled and hollered at them, constantly promising she wouldn't misbehave. They put her back to sleep. When she came to, Yukari felt trapped not just physicaly, but mentaly.

"If I keep acting this way, they WILL send me to an institution, but, I can't help it! I can't live like this, not like this!" thought Yukari. She spent the whole day in constant fear. When it came time to sleep that night, she was so exhausted, emntaly and physicaly, that she fell asleep without assistance. The next morning, the doctor came in to see her.

"Good morning, how are you feeling? You look a little nervous"

"Please, please just take these straps off me"

"Actually, I'm going to do that. You have visitors. We will allow you to go down without restraints, don't make us regret this decision"

Yukari hadn't felt so relieved in the longest while. Her fear and paranoia, vanished there and then when the last strap was removed. A nurse, not the doctor, followed her downstairs where Junpei and Akihiko were waiting. No one else. Yukari felt that pit in her stomach again as soon as she saw them. She wanted no part of them still.

"Hey Yuka-tan, how ya feeling?" asked Junpei.

"Fine, thanks"

"Right now Mitsuru thinks you're staying at a friend's house, so does everyone else. We don't want them to worry, they have enough. It was HER that made you do that, isn't it?"

Yukari lowered her head, remember Maiko.

"Don't let it get to you, like I said, she wouldn't have lasted with or without you. You should be back by week's end, then we can put this behind us" said Akihiko. Yukari nodded.

Yukari was relieved to be free of the straps but she still felt unsettled in the psyche ward. It was as unsettiling a place as she had ever been, almost making her long to return to the alleys with maiko. Actually, her time with Maiko now was like a wonderful vacation in her memory, something she would love to go back to.

She had to pretend to sleep for what would be an hour or two before she actually fell asleep. She had some very surrealistic dreams, the one she remembered most was when she was dating Minato, again. However halfway through things changed, and tried tried to rape her. When she woke up, she couldn't remember if he had succeeded or not.

She counted down every hour, minute and second she was in there. The doctor would give her evaluations every day, and it took every bit of strength Yukari had not to break down crying. Everything was becoming worse. She was visited by Junpei that Thursday, and she told him that she didn't want either Akihiko or him to come pick her up. Junpei relented out of not wanting to upset Yukari.

Now that question came back, of what she would when she got out, when the doctor came back into the room. "I've been contacted by your mother"

Yukari instinctively shrank back. Even more bothering then having Junpei and Akihiko visit, her mother would send her diving through the nearest window. The Doctor made no sign he noticed this.

"She isn't able to visit right now, however she is aware of the current situation. She has arranged for you to start seeing a therapist as soon as you're released. This is the card she faxed me. I would reccomend you go, though it is ultimately up to you" he said handing her the card. Yukari looked at it with all the distain and hatred she could muster, stuffing it in her pocket.

"Stop pretending like you care at all. I don't ever want to see you again, and I sure don't want to see any shrink you've hired" thought Yukari.

"_We humans do, when the cause is sufficient, spend our lives. We throw ourselves onto the grenade to save our buddies in the foxhole. We rise out of the trenches and charge the entreched enemy and die like maggots under a blowtorch. We strap bombs on our bodies and blow ourselves up in the midst of our enemies. We are, when the cause is sufficient, insane."-Orson Scott_

Yukari breathed a deep sigh of relief as she stood outside of the hospital, free as a bird. She told the hospital she was getting a ride, not wanting any escort from them. She decided against continuing to stand there and walked on ahead. Nothing happened on the way, Yukari's mind just wandered to different topics. She felt that pit of despair in her stomach dwindle to a small anxiety, anything seemed better then that hospital.

"Hey Yuka-tan" greeted Junpei when Yukari walked in.

"Hey, isn't that your Cram School Takeba?" asked Mitsuru reading the paper. Yukari went over and looked. Those three girls had been arrested for theft and assault. Yukari had to turn away to hide the smile on her face.

"I know what I'm going to do now"

Yukari got on the train that night with such relief. That pit of despair finally began to subside, almost to the point of nothingness. "I haven't felt this good in so long, it's finally all over. I can finally move on, and keep my promise to him" thought Yukari.

Yukari sat down next to a girl who then got up and moved. Yukari thought it was just a rude girl and payed no mind. However as the ride continued, she noticed she was getting quite a few looks. She couldn't understand it. Anxiety began to return to her mind set like an unwelcome house guest. She then looked over at a boy and girl laughing, a paper falling to the floor. Yukari bent over to look at it. It was a crude drawing of her in a straight jacket. Written above it was "Loony Takeba"

TBC


	9. Epilouge

**She sat on the train to her new dorm, but not alone this time. Sitting alongside Yukari was her new dorm mate, Aegis. Yukari looked to the ground with a sort of solemn smile on her face, chuckiling when she heard Junpei falling down.**

"Yeah, hard to believe I'm laughing, isn't it? It's been about, I want to say a month, since I got out of the hospital. I got an awful lot of stares in Cram School when I first came back, thankfully that's all I got. Still, it didn't help. To be honest, it wouldn't have mattered much any way"

_Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies_

_Oh, he don't know, so he chases them away_

_Someday yet, he'll begin his life again_

_Life again, life again..._

**Fuuka was fast asleep, even Aegis was. Junpei's antics had done nothing to stir their slumber. Yukari looked into her slightly open luggage, seeing her bow and arrow. She zipped up the bag.**

"It's been hard for me to make friends ever since dad died. I'm used to being outcast and looked down by people. When I came to the Dorm, I made all these new "firends", but, I was never that close to them. The only person who was ever that close to me, was Minato. I may never meet another guy like him ever again. Losing him was hard, but, the real problem, was something deeper"

_so he chases them away..._

"Losing him, was made harder because I didn't feel there was anyone else I could turn to. I never felt like I could be open with them about my emotions, feelings, only my opinions. Minato was the only one who knew anything about me, but now, they all know. I thought it was the worst thing imaginable when we had to fight again, and I snapped at the idea of being able to see him again. That's when I just broke down again, and opened up to everyone. Those isolated incidents, me going to the hospital, drinking, isolated to everyone else, now made sense. Now that I know why he died, I feel better about it"

**Yukari felt tired, laying back and closing her eyes.**

"No more pills, no more lies, no more skipping out. Now I know, if something's wrong, I have people I can go to. However, Mitsuru still wants me to see that Psychiatrist my mom tried setting me up with. I will, for her sake. I wish I could say it was all better, but, I still have a lot of issues to deal with, that pain is still in there. I'm not worried though, friends, therapy, one way or another, I'll get through this.My life is finally back on track"

**Sleep was just a short moment away from consuming Yukari.**

"I'm not alone anymore"

The End

Hope you enjoyed!


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